Welcome (You are...)

Hi there dear reader. How are you doing? That’s wonderful! Really?! NO SHE DIDN’T! My neck hurts, so please, say no more.

I know what you’re thinking: “Oh great! Another guy that tinks he’s funny, and a comedy writer, and is going to post another blog. Lord, when will it end? Ooh. Did I turn off the oven?”

You are part right and partly wrong. You are right in that, yes, you did indeed turn off the oven, so please, try and relax. You are wrong in that I am a guy who “tinks”[sic] he is funny. I know I am not, but there are tens of dozens of dollars to be made in the humor writing industry, and frankly dear reader I am going to bite off my chunk of it. There are a million of us out there, and we can all agree that there plenty of unfunny people making a decent living on writing. As the old saying goes: “Unemployment will run out in February, so hurry up and write”.

I have now been a painter, a musician, and illustrator, a graphic designer, a Frank Calliendo impressionist, and world’s first college professor. You know the tweed jacket with the elbow patches? That was my idea. As soon as that caught on, I freaked everyone out with the beard and pipe combination. It blew their tweed patches right off.

You could say I was a renaissance man, as I did, but my title was thoroughly discredited since I misspelled it on my business cards.

So, I know you are wondering what we are going to discuss here. And I’ll admit that a direction is unclear at this point. I do know that I’d like to get to the bottom of the age old question:

Other than that, we’ll review some stories, first-hand accounts, and things that cause boisterous guffaws. I hope you enjoy, and I also hope you contact your cousin who writes jokes for Letterman and get me a job.

I just have to get on the Carson show. If it’s the last thing I do…

OK,

-Showbiz